I... guess it depends on the context. Sort of? I definitely don't love being in the spotlight, if every crazy thing that wanted me dead would just fuck off and go after somebody who deserved it, or... at least somebody with the right kind of skills to handle it, I'd be all for that. But if it's between, like, stuff trying to kill me versus stuff trying to kill the people I care about? I guess I'd rather have the attention.
( He doesn't really see the issue as entirely black and white. He's not a full-blown martyr, but he does have a protective instinct, and he would rather die in place of his friends.
But yeah, no, deep down he'd really love to just be left alone. )
[Eighty words when one would suffice. There is nothing to read as disappointment, no frustration for a long-worded route into exploring one's problems. But the pressure of prolonged contact manifests in awkward silence. He habitually works alone, lives alone and sleeps alone. This is one of the rare times he endures the world.
Naturally, he is a social loner. A social loser, his peers might say.]
And the medication.
[That is why this man is here. Why beat around it?]
Which implies the urge for your mind to settle. The need for your thoughts to, in effect, leave you alone.
( Jack is, above all else, a narrator. A writer, a communicator. Using too many words is in his nature, and is kind of how he makes his living.
Well, technically, running a gas station is how he makes his living. Writing's more of a supplementary thing, at least until the books get published.
And now they come around to the medication. The urge for your mind to settle. That might have been true before getting Sabine back, but with her firmly alive, his thoughts and his try-and-forget memories are less of a problem now.
Now, it's about prevention. )
It's... less the thoughts and more the side-effects of my condition I'm hoping to control. The... hallucinations, the blackouts, the... violent hyper-defense mode moments.
[Crane lets the admission - the outpouring of thought - hang on the air. Notes are made inside his mind and out, fingers gentle in handling the notebook on his lap. His voice reflects this - calm and placid to the point of being still and emotionless.]
Two of which are symptomatic. But the third is behavioural.
[He could listen and lie but he is unwilling to temper his opinion. To change himself to suit others. Besides, he finds it disrespectful to be treated as though he cannot understand, to be regarded as ignorant. And he finds it better to be honest in his work. To produce clear and honest results.]
But behavioural modification is what medication is for, no? To reduce and eventually eliminate negative symptoms.
( But the third is behavioral. That doesn't feel good to hear. He can't say for sure whether or not it's technically correct, it's not like he has any knowledge on psychology aside from late night googling sessions or whatever. Crane's the expert. It's probably correct, it just feels... gross. Dark. It feels like something he should be holding himself accountable for, but since it isn't something he makes a conscious decision to do, his instincts are to refute it.
But he doesn't. What happened, happened. The people that got hurt were hurt, and it was him that did the hurting. Whether or not they deserved it was debatable — he'd say yes more often than not — but it's still objectively shitty, and undeniably his own fault.
He exhales slowly, accepts the sentiment, and plows ahead. )
So... can you help me? I don't know how prescriptions really work here, I take some sleep stuff Nadine makes so I know medication is possible, but- is that something you're doing too?
Well, not right now, but I aspire to be operational in two months. To open a clinic, conduct research. I can't prescribe outside here, after all.
[He gestures his right hand: his open palm clenching a bottle of medicine at second glance. Everything has an end. Every relationship feeds into the whole. He shakes the bottle of rispiridone and the label changes to haloperidol. And he observes and analyses and doesn't offer medication with a glass of water.
Pills after one meeting? That would be irresponsible.]
But I have a talent for chemistry. So hopefully it won't take long.
( Pills after one meeting would be irresponsible, but also... would they even do anything? Jack doesn't think so. Things like alcohol and drugs don't seem to carry their effects over to the outside world — granted, he's mainly only tried the former, but he imagines it would continue to apply to the latter, too. There'd be no point. The placebo effect wouldn't even work, he's too aware for it to take hold. )
Okay, cool, well... keep me posted, I guess. Should we- do any more sessions between now and then, or just kind of hold off until you get all that sorted out?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He exhales similarily: a tired and dull sigh of fatigue. This sounds like a difficult situation. He emphasises in theory if not in heart.]
You worry about their attention falling upon others?
no subject
( He doesn't really see the issue as entirely black and white. He's not a full-blown martyr, but he does have a protective instinct, and he would rather die in place of his friends.
But yeah, no, deep down he'd really love to just be left alone. )
no subject
Naturally, he is a social loner. A social loser, his peers might say.]
And the medication.
[That is why this man is here. Why beat around it?]
Which implies the urge for your mind to settle. The need for your thoughts to, in effect, leave you alone.
no subject
Well, technically, running a gas station is how he makes his living. Writing's more of a supplementary thing, at least until the books get published.
And now they come around to the medication. The urge for your mind to settle. That might have been true before getting Sabine back, but with her firmly alive, his thoughts and his try-and-forget memories are less of a problem now.
Now, it's about prevention. )
It's... less the thoughts and more the side-effects of my condition I'm hoping to control. The... hallucinations, the blackouts, the... violent hyper-defense mode moments.
no subject
Two of which are symptomatic. But the third is behavioural.
[He could listen and lie but he is unwilling to temper his opinion. To change himself to suit others. Besides, he finds it disrespectful to be treated as though he cannot understand, to be regarded as ignorant. And he finds it better to be honest in his work. To produce clear and honest results.]
But behavioural modification is what medication is for, no? To reduce and eventually eliminate negative symptoms.
no subject
But he doesn't. What happened, happened. The people that got hurt were hurt, and it was him that did the hurting. Whether or not they deserved it was debatable — he'd say yes more often than not — but it's still objectively shitty, and undeniably his own fault.
He exhales slowly, accepts the sentiment, and plows ahead. )
So... can you help me? I don't know how prescriptions really work here, I take some sleep stuff Nadine makes so I know medication is possible, but- is that something you're doing too?
no subject
[He gestures his right hand: his open palm clenching a bottle of medicine at second glance. Everything has an end. Every relationship feeds into the whole. He shakes the bottle of rispiridone and the label changes to haloperidol. And he observes and analyses and doesn't offer medication with a glass of water.
Pills after one meeting? That would be irresponsible.]
But I have a talent for chemistry. So hopefully it won't take long.
no subject
Okay, cool, well... keep me posted, I guess. Should we- do any more sessions between now and then, or just kind of hold off until you get all that sorted out?
no subject
Do you need the help? Of course you do.
[He says in the softest tone he can muster: calm and peaceful though his mind pictures this man as an idiot.]
You have my number. If you need to reach me you know where I am.
[Need. Not must. No suggestion of frustration or impatience.]